I've been gone for ten long years...

My ten-year high school reunion is right around the corner. I'm not going - I even have a legitimate reason for not attending either the day or night event. (I had a good reason to miss last time too - I was thousands of miles away in China for my 5-year!). I did take the 'how-can-we-further-contact-you; where-do-you-socially-network; what-have-you-been-up-to-in-ten-years' survey - mostly because I didn't want to end up on the "missing" list (and yes, there is one - there are so many people on it! I'm pretty certain I didn't go to school with some of those people...). The question I hated answering the most was something like: So, in 5 sentences or less, what have you been up to in the past ten years?

What have I been up to?

5 sentences?

Really?

There are many ways to approach this. I didn't think of some of them until later, however. Which is why you get to read it all here. Lucky you!

The "I'm single and happy whether you believe it or not" version. 10 years, no husband, no kids. Just a cat to call my own. A wasted ten years in Utah, and definitely will be seen that way by all these high school peoples. I need more than two hands to count the number of high school couples who have become eternal couples. And these are just the ones I know about! Not that marrying your high school sweetheart is such a bad life - but not one that I singly (no pun intended, but there it is) have control over. So here is my single-and-looking version:

Personal ad: SWF seeking SWM. Good applicant should be WX class of '00 (otherwise, why are you reading this?) college graduate (since I am not going to put you through college, too - I've already done that twice, thank you very much), electrician or mechanic (since I seem to be in need of those quite often), comedian (because a girl's gotta laugh) or rich via some other means, willing to grade spelling tests (of all the things I grade, these grow the most tiresome), and skills - "you know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." What I can offer you in return: a peek into my domestic portfolio, strangely decorated cupcakes, Ikea furniture putting-together skills, and Hoe-down Throw-down dance lessons. Poor, hungry, needy, or weirdos need not apply.

The smart-aleck version. My most natural response is to be snarky and smart-alecky. Because really? 10 years smashed into 5 sentences? Who isn't going to read this with a grain of salt anyway? Then I think - probably not many people in high school knew my snarky self - that really only manifests itself with people I know fairly well - and not many of those people are from high school days. So, if I take that approach, it looks like I'm trying to be funny, maybe - but not quite cutting it. A few people would get it, but all the rest will think it's dumb. Yet, it was begging to be written that way, so here's the smart-aleck version:

After graduating high school, I went for the big-time college - the U. After 7 long years there and 2 degrees later, I finally left that institution for greener pastures - Utah County. I really do l like teaching, even like the kids from time to time. Since I didn't get married straight out of high school to my high school sweetheart (oh wait, didn't have one of those), I have striven to do other productive things with my life: travel, scrapbook, and grade papers. 10 years wasted? Perhaps. But eternity's a long time to spend with one person. I only have 35 10-11-year olds for 180 days, and don't have to wake them up or put them to bed.

Yes. Probably good that I didn't submit that one. But it was quite entertaining to write.

The version I ended up with. I ended up with something fairly normal and plain. And probably slightly boring. A little bit of humor, a little bragging. I'm mostly certain that I'm not that memorable, and so this little bio is easily forgotten as well. But probably the most representative of the silent type I was during high school, and probably what everyone who did know me expected me to do with my life. (I forgot to copy and paste it... so this is what I remember... (but when I get my reunion book I'll put the real thing here))

I'm currently teaching 5th grade in Utah County. I graduated from the U with a BS and later with a MEd. Having summers off has let me travel - eastern US, Europe, Alaska, and China. When I'm not spending time doing my main hobby of grading papers, I like to read, do crafts, scrapbook, and plan my next adventure.

So. There it is. 3 versions of the most difficult sentences I've had to write all summer long. And you got to read them. Lucky you.

Go Wildcats!